As stepmoms, sometimes we feel like we are sharing our spouses and not in the good way. Our lives are different because the small details are a bit trickier. A blended family is no easy thing and it requires a lot of commitment, but most of all, a lot of understanding.
Too often, this requires us to be understanding and supportive of our spouses who may be going through difficult times, even when it is just as difficult for us. As we all know, men deal with their emotions in a different manner. Sometimes they don’t even want to vocalize them at all, which makes it harder on us when we try to understand what is going on. Unfortunately, sometimes we take it personal and think it’s a direct attack against us.
While you want to be
supportive of him, who supports you?
And we start thinking, “HE doesn’t pay enough attention to me”, “HE is worried about his kids all the time”, “HE works too much.” We tend to focus on our partner’s mistakes, and we don’t focus on what may be really going on behind all of this. Have you actually taken the time to have a heart-to-heart with your spouse about how you feel?
If you do, start with “I…” sentences they make you look more relatable and makes the problem about you and not about them (meaning they don’t feel like you are blaming them for the issue). Think about it this way: why would you want to open your heart to someone who is accusing you of bad intentions?
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We have to remind ourselves that we are all dealing with different things. Nowadays, we juggle SO many things at the same time that it is only fair to give people the benefit of the doubt before jumping to conclusions. In this case, the best way for you to support your spouse and your relationship is taking the time to TALK about all of your concerns in a calm way.
If you want to learn more tips on how to talk to your partner, book a one-on-one with me. In this call, we will go through different techniques you can use to foster intimate deep conversations with your partner.
