Hi, lovely Stepmom!
This week while I was out for a walk, something dropped from the sky, and I had to skip forward in order for it not to drop on me. When I looked down, it was an egg shell. It made my heart melt. A little baby bird was making its way into the world (I know. I am going to connect the dots shortly). Now, back to the story, I wanted to get a ladder and see what was going on.
Did the baby bird survive? Was the Mama Bird there to witness the event?
Then it hit me. Even if I did have a ladder handy, it was none of my business.
If I would have gotten up there to see, then what would’ve happened if the Mama bird went into attack mode? Well... we all have seen the attack of the killer birds. It would not have ended well for me.
This brings me to my own blended family. I realized that sometimes when I just want to be a part of things or to offer help, these things are simply none of my business. This has nothing to do with “my place” as a StepMOM or not having a say. It is more like the old saying goes: there is a time and place for everything.
….
it was none of my business.
Here are 3 reasons why it sometimes just ain't none of our business!
You need to wait because the issue at hand is not an issue yet, so it is not time for us to interject with our two cents just yet. This refers to those cases when you can see a problem starting a mile away, and we being the AWESOME StepMOMs we are, we want to send out the Code Red. Then we get mad when we get the: “Really honey, I think you are overreacting” or “No, my mom said it was ok for me to wear the same socks five days in a row.”
You just don’t want to be a part of it. Example: Your 10-year-old wants to dye her hair pink. Her mom told her she had to ask her dad. He feels her mom should have just told her no. Or your 16-year-old was on punishment for two weeks per BioMom's orders. You and your husband made some adjustments so you could support this decision. Then the BioMom lets him go to a party the next week. (?!?!)
You just may not be able to give your viewpoint on the matter. Things like which doctor your StepKids go to or what type of haircut your StepDaughter gets for her 10th birthday party that is coming up.
I have used these three reasons as a reminder not to get all stressed out from feeling like no one is listening to what I have to say or our issues that could or come about in my blended family. I simply ask myself three questions: do I even want to get involved (this is a perk to being a stepmom, just saying)? Are they ready to hear and receive what I have to say (sometimes I can’t help myself, and I am like a loose cannon. Beware, it may backfire, or you might get to say "I told you so" 😄)? Lastly, will it matter or make a difference one way or another?
Just in case you are wondering...yes, all this came to mind just because a bird hatching from its egg almost hit me.
