STEPMOM LOVE: Can I love them like my own?
I can’t answer this question for you, ONLY YOU know this. It’s an answer that lies deep in your heart and that you need to ask yourself before you enter this situation.
If you’re familiar with my story you know I’m a third-generation kid of blended families, today I’m talking to you from that perspective. The relationship that I had with my stepmom, the love that I felt from her and I’m gonna share with you three things that made me feel loved and secure as a step kid.
She stayed true to who she was: She’s not an overly affectionate person, but she kept it real, she’s structured and she offered me that structure as well as to my siblings (her kids) she also admitted when something was her strong suit and when it wasn’t. Which helped me discover my strong suits and always be honest to myself and others.
- She showed up for me even when I pushed her away: A lot of you may be dealing with teenagers, I don’t remember much of that time, but my stepmom does… And apparently, I wasn’t that nice to her, HA! I even told her the infamous line “You’re not my momma”. Even then she showed up for me, she showed up for graduation, she pushed me to achieve my potential, she pushed me even through teenage pregnancy.
She loved us differently: Many parents say they love their kids just the same and some people stress that’s how it’s supposed to be… But truth is you can’t love everyone just the same because we’re not all the same. She gave us love the way we all needed to be loved, specifically.
Some of you may say, my situation is very different, you had to take the love from your stepmom because you didn’t have a mom. WRONG! I have an amazing relationship with my birth mom, she’s one of my biggest cheerleaders, but the difference was that I lived with my stepmom and I needed her to show up for me in ways that my mom couldn’t simply because she wasn’t in that position.
Now I wanna hear from you? How do you love your step kids? What do you think you can offer them and bring into their lives? If you haven’t already… subscribe to our weekly newsletter to keep up with all the things I want to share with you.