Life as a Stepmom can throw many curveballs at you, but the thing to do is, stop to ask yourself any of the five questions before you react.
Why is this bothering me?
Because once you figure out why it is bothering you, then you can actually do something about it.
Ask yourself is it worth it?
I know these questions seem very obvious or even repetitive, but you’d be amazed to know how soon we forget; how the smallest things can throw us off balance and make us feel like we’re spinning out of control.
Is it worth me going down this emotion that I am feeling?
Sometimes we need to allow the emotion because we need to feel that validation. Feeling guilty for having these type of feelings won’t help, but what can help is noticing the thoughts that trigger that emotion and recognizing that while the feelings are REAL, the thoughts ARE NOT. You can be your best friend or your worst enemy, and it will be up to you to decide which one you want to be
Where this anger is coming from?
Know that if you lash out at your husband or kids that it won’t make things right because you are not addressing the central issue.
What can I do differently not to let this bother me?
A brilliant stepmom from my Facebook group mentioned: “It’s not about you having to do something or lessening yourself, but it is about choosing your outlook.” And this is true. We need to be strategic. We need to choose our battles. You can’t spend your whole life stressing about every single detail and wanting everything to turn out perfect cause life is not perfect. If anything, its imperfections would be what makes it great.
Ask yourself all those questions and allow yourself to have those feelings without any guilt. Remember the feeling may be real, but the thought is not. I hope this advice was very useful for you.
Love and bliss,