Today we’re gonna talk about jealousy, yeah! You heard me. We’re gonna talk about jealousy. Jealousy can be triggered by many things. I bet this subject can make you a little bit uncomfortable, but it is normal.
Sometimes we might get jealous when our husband needs to go away for work, or when he makes decisions with the BioMom without consulting us…I will share my own experience about jealousy, to better illustrate my point, I am struggling a bit while I do this because it is a very touching and difficult experience for me.
Some of the moms that work with me know that me and my husband tried to conceive, but for God knows which reasons we weren’t able to. That’s one of the first times that I felt jealous. I was jealous because he already had 4 children with other women who weren’t me and jealous precisely because I couldn’t give him that. It was a very bitter experience.
Sometimes, jealousy can be triggered when you feel that he is paying more attention to his parents, his kids or work, and not giving you enough time. Although that may be REAL, we need to assess the situation. What are the facts? A technique that really helps is taking into consideration that the feeling may be real, but the thought is not.
What do I mean by this? It means that even though you may feel jealous, maybe you are not seeing things the right way. There is evidence that we give more weight to bad experiences than to good ones, so maybe you are holding on to that one time he didn’t come to dinner. But you are neglecting the time he took care of you when you were sick; when he cooked dinner for you; or when he did all the laundry cause you were exhausted.
My advice here is balance everything out, make sure that in retrospective you are not giving more weight to the bad experiences and letting them trump the good ones.
This is just something to think about next week will get to the exsplore how this is not one sided and how you can stop beating yourself up about such feelings, and stop the thoughts all together.