Hello, Lovely Stepmoms,
As you know, February is a month full of love. Some of you may celebrate Valentine's the weekend before or after, or maybe even on the exact day, but this holiday has always made me reflect on my own love story. Often I think about the love I have for my dear husband, but also I reflect on HIS love. Where is HIS love?
Sometimes I listen to a song named, "Where is the love?" by Roberta Flack cause it makes think about the situation...
“Oh how I wish I never met you
I guess it must have been my fate
To fall in love with someone else's love
All I can do is wait
(that's all I can do)
Yeah yeah yeah”
Being a stepmom and loving our husband, sometimes the love that comes to us may seem shared - not only with this kids but also between your household and the one his kids live or will be living in. Often we can feel like their love is just spread out all around, and sometimes it feels like his love may be with his kids at his ex’s house.
It is normal to wonder where his love is at this time. Sometimes you feel like the love may be displaced because of the way he reacts to certain things that happen at the biomama’s home. My mission today is to give you three strategies that will avoid you going down the toxic rabbit hole of self-doubt and bitterness.
Resentment: You don’t wanna go down this path, because unfortunately, resentment not only goes outwards, but it goes inwards. By this I mean you start getting angry at yourself for having these kinds of thoughts, for “putting up with it”; for not getting what you want, and you resent your husband for making you feel this way. So STOP!
Loneliness: Being alone and being lonely are two completely different things. You may be physically alone, but you are not mentally or emotionally lonely. Whereas if you feel lonely, not even the entire human population will fix that feeling of emptiness inside your soul. You need to catch that pattern before it spreads out like toxic cancer.
Withholding: What do I mean by this? Well, in this case, withholding would be to stop showing love and affection for your husband because you feel hurt; because you feel left out. This often is a passive aggressive behavior that more than likely will only make things worse.
Now that I’ve shared with you the three most common issues and unwanted feelings, let me give you the best technique to combat this:
What?! You might be asking yourself… This woman has no other topic but self-love, but before you close this window and disregard my advice, think about this for a second. If you loved yourself enough, you wouldn’t allow feelings of resentment control your body because your time is too precious for that.
If you loved yourself enough, you would never feel lonely. You would always have yourself. Withholding would not be in the picture because you are so filled with overflowing love, that all you would want to do is share it with everyone in your life so they can feel as good as you.