Disclaimer: This is not written to bash BioMoms. This is the feeling created when there is a toxic relationship between Stepmoms and Biomoms. Not all Biomoms are toxic nor are all Stepmoms are evil.
Dear BioMOM,
I know I am not your kid’s mother. You don’t have to make it clear and try to engrave it in my brain anytime that you can. I am not their mother, but I love them. I love their sweet smiles, their laughter, their curiosity and their charm.
I might not have birthed them, and they may only be my stepchildren but I feel like they are a part of me, a very important piece that I never knew was missing in my life. Why can’t you just be happy for them? Happy that they have someone else that will care for them in their life.
I put my effort, too, you know. I take them to practice and ballet; I pack their lunches and let them sleep with us when they’re scared; I get a little bit sad when they leave for your house, but I always tell them to be good and enjoy your time with mommy. Why can’t you do the same?
Why do you have to make them choose? Why do you have to guilt them into not showing their affection for me? Frankly, it hurts, moreover, it hurts them. You are their world and, of course, the last thing they ever want to do is to hurt you. So they are left wondering and feeling tense all the time, asking if what they’re doing is okay with mommy.
I am not asking this on my behalf, I am asking this on their behalf. Don’t make a scene at their recital cause I am there, and don’t yell at them cause they ran and gave me a hug, too. Whatever problems you may have with me, come and solve them with me, and don’t let them know what is going on, because they are more sensitive than you think.
Lastly, don’t try to turn them against me because Daddy preferred this new woman over you...You very well know that is not how things happened. And again, I know… I am not your kid’s mother...